the trouble is, you think you have time.
i am so guilty of this mentality. even after sugar was diagnosed with advance cancer. when sugar started improving, i was optimistic that instead of only have a few hours left, we might actually have a couple of months left with her. things didn’t feel so urgent anymore. i took L back to school, we tried to bring back some of our routines, i went back to the gym, and we let sugar spend some time in our backyard.
i even got frustrated with her and the boys one morning when no one was cooperating while i tried to get the kids out the door for school. i regret it now because the next day, she took a turn for the worse. i called the doctor to come see her again but there wasn’t any more they can do. her decline was swift and she passed away at 3am the next morning.
even during the last few minutes, i still thought we have more time. maybe it was denial.